Sunday, 05 February 2012
Fear can be one of the most powerful motivators for people. Although it may not be the most pleasant, it does cause action and change.
We can say a fear of death or starvation for ourselves or our children, can be a driving force to go out and get an earning.
For me? Fear and I have been dear friends throughout the years, even though I had not consciously realize it. We or at least I cling to it as if there it nothing left. Although a paradox, fear is the most familiar place that I have known, and although it is limiting, that is where I feel the most safest? Confusing yes, and I'm still trying to understand this complex web of emotions.
People are always saying to change and liberate yourself. I have a tendency to be pessimistic and negative, but I'm critical. In order to change or make a move, sometimes it takes financial changes. But for now, I think I just need to take the small steps an think positively instead of thinking that I am domed.
This is my post-grad phase. That phase where everything you thought would magically happen, hasn't, and you're forced to face the real world and see that it is not all cake and ice cream. Its where you're forced to look at yourself and really reflect on who you are as a person, what you REALLY want in life, and taking away all those beliefs of following your parent's expectations of yourself. Then, when you have, finding that purpose or passion or something! that will sustain you. Ugh.
Sometimes, I wonder if there are people out there who are my age and currently going through this? I feel like I'm back in high school during that stupid phase of awkwardness and being lost. I'm sure there are. Sometimes, I wished I could just be more carefree and less worry about the future. Not always trying to critically plan for the future cause in the end I cant.